July 27, 2011

A Mother's Love

by: Spice Girls

I was busy reading The Little Prince, I didn't even notice a woman walking past the doorstep straight from work. She gave me something to eat, I consumed it all and was full, but I didn't even bother to say "Thank you,". That was year 2004, the last time I saw her. My mother-- who bravely left her family to venture on a dream that wouldn't only benefit her, but us as well. It isn't selfishness, it's sacrifice.

But I was too young to know it then. I was too blinded by the fact that I am free, that I can do things without anyone scolding me. Some people know for a fact that my father isn't that strict enough compared to my mother. So I did things out of freewill. Things that most teenagers do, things that sometimes, I regret doing. I sometimes ignore her calls and never returned messages. I was more like an ungrateful daughter, I turned my back on her, disobeyed and disrespected her. I was a prodigal daughter. I took her and everything she's done for granted. I never even bothered to say "Sorry." 

She is the type of woman who will always forgive you. Hatred isn't allowed in her heart. That's why back then I was too calm, cause I know tomorrow will be different. All is well, all will be forgiven. But boy, was I wrong. It was different, yes, but I was too blinded to see that all the loneliness and the hurt filled inside her. And she was only waiting for that one dreadful moment were she could let it all out. To finally set her heart free of emotions. She cried, cried way too hard. But I was too proud to say sorry, too proud to admit I was wrong. (I swear if I could go back in time, I would have spelled the Cruciatus curse on me. If it was allowed and sane. )

One day I felt so alone. One of those days where I could say "I do not exist.", which is worse than a heartbreak. And like a lightning bolt, it hit me, I needed her. Like a little child wanting her mother to tuck her into bed. That's when I realized my mother is the truest friend I have. Who will go shopping with me without even getting tired. Who will always answer my call even at 3 am in the morning. Who will always understand what I do not say. She loves me, especially when I least deserve to be loved. This goes the same for my father, who I dearly love.

This may be an eye opener to some people whose paths have been lost. It's never too late. Everyone may leave you, but your parents will always be by your side.

Mom, if ever you read this, you might be wondering why the sudden drama. Besides the fact that I would become a mother too in a few months and yesterday's drama and frequent listening to Spice Girls' Mama, I stumbled upon this poem and I remembered everything. From the day you and daddy accompanied me to school (you and daddy thought I was embarrassed by your presence, I was not, I am so proud of you two) to the day you left. I am sorry for every heartache. I miss you so much. I can't wait to see you and hug you very tight. Though times may be hard, I might make you cry, it doesn't change a thing, I love you and I always will. 

by Leslie Kissire

If I could give you diamonds
for each tear you cried for me
If I could give you sapphires
for each truth you’ve helped me see.
If I could give you rubies
for the heartache that you’ve known
If I could give you pearls
for the wisdom that you’ve shown
Then you’ll have a treasure, mother,
that would mount up to the skies
That would almost match
the sparkle in your kind and loving eyes
But I have no pearls, no diamonds,
as I’m sure you’re well aware
So I’ll give you gifts more precious
my devotion, love and care

Always be happy Mommy because you and Daddy are forever loved.

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